This is an otter. Here are 4 simple steps to go from boring normal otter to frickin epic otterball:
Step 1: Get otter
Step 2: Pick it up
Step 3: Poke it in the tummy until it becomes ball shaped
Step 4: Reward it for good behavior; creating a Pavlovian response will make it easier for creating future otterballs
You may be wondering why I named my page “How to Run Like a Velociraptor”. Do I have a fondness for Velociraptors? Do I have an obsession with Velociraptors? Do I think Velociraptors are cute? Did I lose money to a Velociraptor?
No. No to all of the above.
But not matter how much I think Velociraptors are hideous and terrifying (and they are), it would be wrong to try to deny the awesomeness of their existence. If Jurassic Park (the book and original movie; don’t even mention the sequels to me) taught us anything, it is that Velociraptors are fierce, wicked smart, bad ass, and in a fight you’d definitely want them on your side. Respect.
If that doesn’t satisfactorily explain to you why I named this blog after Velociraptors, then you, sir, are no one I want to know.
*This is not a real fight between Batman and a Velociraptor